"You're pretty, i'm the slut-puppy remember?" "Dru's pretty much insane, so not much potential there." "And worse, Darla gave birth to Connor, a sin for which a deserving punishment has yet to be created." "Ya mean you don't like Hilary Duff?" "I guess that I was too busy planning your punishments to proofread." "Isn't Knox also a brand of gelatin?" "But what do I know, I thought she was running as fast as she could, it didn't look like a jog and she had on those boots." "Joss told me that her middle name was Urinal-Cake..." "How can she sit there and call herself a true fan when she can't even spell Alyson Hannigan and David Boreanaz's names right?" "I'm wondering if Mac hired Tiff only so we'd come and talk about her "writing" every week..." "I just started to enjoy it, and you took it away which means you must be....a TV EXEC! NOOOO!" "My absent-minded-ness knows no bounds." "As many of you already know Matt is functionally illiterate. What you may not have known is that for the past six years he has used a Transcribing Monkey from Pfizer." "Yay!!!!!! I'm the smut bomb" "I loved SeaQuest!!!!" "No, that's OK, see, cause I'm a dick." "And I LOVED the shots of Uma's feet! Those were brilliant..." "I WANT A BUBBLE BUTT! Waaaahhh!" "So can my new claim to fame be that Destiny's Child wrote a song about my ass?"